Lament for Pie

The only reason this exists is because Jeffrey Peterson sponsored me to write a love song to baked goods.

Imagine a musical.

photo from flickr by alfre_pictures

We open with a razzle dazzle song and dance number from the chorus. We’re in America, there’s food of every kind being celebrated. Everything is supersized and ranges from American cuisine at it its finest to food that really should be forgotten. Establishing the place, the musical themes and ambitions of this culinary obsessed world.

Our protagonist is thrust into the middle of this world, an Australian, possibly arrayed in the most hideous of cliches… cliches that have gone through to some other dimension. Vegemite sachets dangling from a wide brimmed hat instead of corks, that kind of thing… or as much as you can manage without throwing up a little. A high energy number between the protagonist and the chorus. The protagonist has ambitions, wants to be somebody, they’re going to make it!

Photo from flickr, by goosmurf

The adversary appears, oh no! The chorus changes from being on the protagonist’s side to being on the adversary’s side. Turmoil! Conflict! A wild burst of decadence and adventure, but it only leads to the crushing of dreams, the horrors of financial reality! The spark goes out of the protagonist’s life, they’re stuck doing soul crushing menial work for the adversary – or worse yet they have been deluded by the adversary and are leading a high life, but a false one… all hope is gone!

They are physically and emotionally far from their path of DESTINY… but then, in a moment of quiet reflection our protagonist reveals a deep inner yearning, the deep inner yearning that they will follow, pursue, and when they do they will be triumphant. The protagonist doesn’t realize it yet, but this song, THIS song, is the turning point.

Lament for Pie

photo from flickr, by stickypix

I’m an alien from down under
You have many foods to plunder
Slow cooked meats, wild berries
All things Mexican

So many culinary wonders
Yet it feels like such a blunder
To have so much, yet lack
The thing I need

I want a pie
And I’m not talking fruit or sweet
I want a pie
Dark brown gravy softest meat
I want a pie
Filo pastry not hard crumb
I want a pie

I’ve eaten hot pastrami
That’s like Harry meeting Sally
Broccoli tofu from one who
Fought an Iron Chef*

Wild salmon fresh caught from the river
Microbrews will bruise my liver
From the vast array of local
Things to try

But I want a pie
It’s not the timtams that I miss
I want a pie
Though decent ryebread would be bliss
I want a pie
And not pay 10 bucks for one bite
I want a pie.

—-

Recorded using iPhone’s memo function and the built in microphone. I hope to do a better recording, but at least this way I won’t forget the tune!

And this version was created by EJ. She read the lyrics and got earwormed by her own tune. I asked her to record it for me and she kindly did. Her courage in recording and sending made me brave enough to put my own recording up.

* A shout out to the delectable Dirt Candy!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jeffrey Petersen
    Sep 24, 2012 @ 14:10:42

    I don’t know how I could have possibly gotten more for my money.
    Fantastic!
    Bravo!
    Encore!

    Reply

  2. James Turnbull (@kartar)
    Sep 25, 2012 @ 08:59:13

    If you are lonely for such a cultural artifact then can I recommend Pacific Pies in Portland? They do a proper pie… :)

    Reply

    • Liz Argall
      Sep 25, 2012 @ 09:08:48

      You can recommend Pacific Pies – but I wouldn’t call them a cultural artifact. I find their pastry is much too Americanized. It’s neither the filo flakeyness nor the right kind of density of a cold pork pie. The pastry is more like a pot pie pastry. I don’t want to scare people away, they’re a worthwhile place to grab a pie, but the fusion qualities are not a cure for homesickness, rather a reminder of how far away I am. Similarly Pie in Seattle do a nice fusion-style savory pie. Both places I was thinking of when I was lamenting the style of pastry and the cost!

      The Australian Pie Company do pies that satisfy the yearning for home. They also have a much more pie-like price tag. If I had a car I would go out to Burien semi-frequently. Their lamingtons are also really good.

      Reply

  3. Trackback: Music and static poetry | Liz Argall

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