Love letter to a Soy Sauce Bottle, from the rotten cabbage at the back of the fridge

Photo from by satrin0

This cabbage song has taken a long long time, but at last, at last we have it. I love this project, because it gives me permission to filk.

Thank you Les R Evil for this truly evil challenge.

Sung to the tune of The Armadillo, by Flanders and Swann.

Cabbage and Soy

The fridge was getting stinky, in the summer of ‘08

For a cleaning last occurred in ‘99

I had picked up bleach and bucket, gas mask firmly down in place

When I heard a voice that sang a sad refrain:

Oh, my darling soy sauce bottle

Let me tell you of my love

Hear me, I’m your rotten cabbage s’il vous plaît

Yes the mould has shaped my leaves

A cultured Savoy if you please

Be my darling soy sauce bottle all the day

I was somewhat disconcerted by this curious appeal

For a lovelorn talking veggie you will own,

Is a rarity, not commonly, recorded in the news

And for it to woo some soy sauce is unknown

I crept closer to the fridge,

Pressed my ear against the door

As I secretly listened to that

Cabbage sing some more

Oh, my darling soy sauce bottle

How thrilling it would be,

If over all my leaves you’d gently pour

Your sticky salt’s an inspiration

Can’t you hear my lamentation?

Be my darling soy sauce bottle all the time.

I opened up the fridge, hoping to catch them in the act

A mouldy cabbage singing… to a bottle empty as.

Should I tell him, softly rotting, with his heart upon his sleeve

This bottle has no soy sauce, it is just what he believes.

I left him to his singing

Put off cleaning for a year

Breaking cabbage hearts aint easy

And the corn has been all ears

When I’m walking past the kitchen

I can hear that sad refrain

Singing soy sauce, soy sauce, soy sauce for my leaves

And I seem to hear it still

And to clean, well that would kill

Be my darling soy sauce bottle all the day

Be my darling soy sauce bottle all the day


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Last day of the Write-a-thon | Liz Argall
  2. anthonykennedy
    May 23, 2018 @ 14:37:57

    This is such a work of art! Perfection


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